Thursday, January 17, 2008

MacGyver or Chuck Norris

I don't know much about action men but I do know MacGyver could probably make a bomb out of bird shit and some lunch left over. Chuck Norris on the other hand gives you the creeps without even moving a muscle. So if they were in the battle - who would win? It's almost like Superman vs. Batman - sure, my bets are with Superman but then again Batman really knows his style.

It's simply too much for me, so I'll let you decide - who is cooler, stronger and more powerful: DIY man MacGyver or scary stiff Chuck Norris? Here are some facts about them which are taken and copied from here, here and here, to help you decide.

Angus MacGyver (what a subtle name indeed) - the Brain

1. MacGyver was actually the creator of modern day baseball. He, by himself, was the only team to go undefeated for an entire season. Twice.

2. MacGyver used to be a professor, but was frustrated by the stupidity of young Chuck Norris, and thus had to quit...The one thing MacGyver never figured out.

3. MacGyver actually entered the first pilot show of Survivor, but was promptly banned for building a condo complete with remote controlled garage in the first hour.

4. Chuck Norris never could grow hair on his face or anywhere else, so he confronted MacGyver. MacGyver then created a contraption that allowed Chuck Norris to finally look like a man! This was considered the first sex change.

5. Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Give him a fishing pole, you'll feed him for life...Give MacGyver a spool of thread, a half bottle of bleach and a pizza crust and he'll create a life form similar to fish but capable of intelligent speech and advanced calculus.

6. The only reason the MacGyver show was ever canceled was because in the summer of 1991 MacGyver caused a worldwide shortage of duct tape.

7. MacGyver once fought with Chuck Norris, MacGyver won with Q-Tips, a cough drop, and an empty Powerade bottle.

MacGyver photo source

Chuck Norris - the Pain

1. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.

2. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

3. If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

4. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

5. Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.

6. Chuck Norris doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."

7. Chuck Norris was originally offered the role as Frodo in Lord of the Rings. He declined because, "Only a pussy would need three movies to destroy a piece of jewelery."

Chuck Norris photo source

So, who's the Man?


jaKa said...

cherry, hon, you are asking the wrong question; for the Man is neither Pain nor Brain, the Man is, of course, Brian Boitano!

so what would Brian Boitano do?

Truefaith1963 said...

MacGyver drinks Cockta.
Chuck sucks Cockta, in my opinion.

MacGyver actually built the original Stargate from the bits you peal off the back of bandaids - true.

Cherry said...

@jaKa - I didn't have a clue who Brian Boitano was until now - but reading that he wouldn't go for Martha Stewart business makes me think he is a pussy (When did hurting multinational corporation ever did any harm to anyone).

And we all know what Chuck Norris does to pussies.

@Truefaith - you're probably right, still I voted for Chuck. I even don't know why - see he's THAT good ;)

Truefaith1963 said...

I have to say that the Cockta website is bloody brilliant! Have you tried Cockta Red yet??

Truefaith1963 said...

also, go see this video

Cherry said...

Actually I didn't - I'm kinda sticking with the original flavor, but I'll bring you all the kinds - even diet one.

Štrudl said...

My favorite Chuck Norris fact was always: "In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself."

Cherry said...

štrudl :) - that' a really good one! I also liked Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.

Truefaith1963 said...

Nothing new??
Whats the story?
I need entertaining Cherry!!

Cherry said...

justin - the story is I'm sick in my bed plus Chuck Norris won't let me write another post until he wins the polls ;)

will be back with you soon, I promise

Truefaith1963 said...

Get well soon Cherry!!
Tell Chuck to make some healthy vegetable soup.

aljazek said...

Kot študent fizike navijam za MacGyverja :D

intrepidideas said...

That's a nice post. I must admit - I voted for MacGyver! I think he'd find a way to outsmart Chucky Baby. Here's a funny MacGyver post: I hope you like it!

Hope you feel better too!

Cherry said...

of course you did :) - I way actually pretty convinced that Chuck Norris will win this poll by far. Well obviously I was wrong.

I feel much better now, thanx :)

Anonymous said...

There was once a contest to determine who was the toughest Movie/TV tough guy - Bruce Campbell or Somebody Else. Only Jet Li, George Peppard, and Chuck Norris showed up.

Jet Li tried to jump kick Bruce in the chin which only caused Jet's right leg to shatter.
George Peppard was going blow up some oil barrels behind Bruce by throwing his cigar at them. Big mistake. Bruce leered at the cigar until it flew back into Peppard’s mouth, which then exploded out of fear.
Chuck Norris then merely nodded to Bruce, and walked away, being allowed to live due to such an uncanny demonstration of wisdom.

macgyverx86 said...

Chuck Norris is the only man that managed to slam a rotative door