Sunday, October 21, 2007


It's funny how dating gets more complicated as you grow older. When you are a teenager things are quite simple - it's enough if the person is cute and likes you. Sometimes it's enough even that you're both drunk and there. Not much of getting to know each other and long exhausting talks about meaning of life or your expectations. Of course most of these "relationships" ended up just as quickly as they begun. Well, at least that was my experience.

As you have a couple of "the wrong ones" you eventually become more careful about who you're getting involved with. Especially when you want to avoid meaningless relationships. You are now ready for an upgraded version of the dating game.

Now it's not enough anymore for the person to be cute. No, you want them to be smart, easygoing and fun. Possibly with similar music taste to yours. Somehow I can't imagine myself with anyone who prefers turbo folk, slovenian pop, r'n'b or Britney Spears kinda things. But it doesn't stop there, oh no. Political beliefs matter too. No conservativeness, no anti - ecological or anti-artistic behavior and most of all no obsessions with money, appearance or fanciness.

So what's the deal? Does it get any easier after 30 or do you eventually stop fussing about it? Maybe I'm just too demanding, having too much fun with "the wrong ones" or maybe I just like being single a bit too much :)


kejt said...

you oughta be demanding, hun...

pina said...

Join the club. :(
Podobne kuhinjske filozofije tudi mene spreletavajo vsak dan.

Cherry said...

@kejt thanks :)

@pina - že pri enaindvajsetih? Omg ;)

Dinozaver said...

Can't have yer cake and eat it too.

Cherry said...

@dino - eating it is perfectly ok with me :D

Anonymous said...

Hmmm, sicer sam še kar nekaj let od 30ga, ampak bom vseeno naložila en kup besed… :) Mislim, da je ljubezen čisto nepredvidljiva... Pred dvema letoma sem recimo iskala moškega, s katerim bi imela pravo slovensko tričlansko družino… Hihi!
Pristala pa sem s punco, s katero imava redko kaj skupnega… Jaz imam rada komedije - ona drame… jaz poslušam skoraj vse zvrsti glasbe, razen jazza - ugani katero zvrst obožuje ona… jaz obožujem rože in vrtnarjenje – kar nje niti najmanj ne zanima, itak da sva tudi volile vsaka svojega kandidata... Potrebno je veliko prilagajanja in še enkrat več pogovorov in kompromisov.
V bistvu je edino vprašanje na katero res potrebuješ (če si želiš resno dolgotrajno vezo) odgovor: Ali se vidiš z njo čez 5, 10, 15 let, ali je taka oseba s katero boš lahko zgradila odnos? In če je odgovor da, ali je potem res važno če posluša Britney Spears? Sicer pa se mi zdi, da ima veliko ljudi lastnostih, ki jih opisuješ in se mi ne zdiš tako hudo zahtevna, tako da je morda za vse skupaj kriv tisti zadnji razlog: I just like being single a bit too much. :)


Cherry said...

Lotosovka, I see your point, but...
Glede na to, da sem very much music kinda person, ki rada hodi žurat bi seveda imela probleme, če bi moja punca poslušala izrecno komercialo. Britney Spears je mišljena bolj kot prispodba.

Prilagajanje je vedno potrebno in to se mi zdi čist OK. vendar pa se nisem pripravljena prilagajati v stvareh, ki so mi zelo pomembne.

Glede zadnjega pa imaš verjetno čisto prav :D

d-mashina said...

trešnja, ti si moj nov idol! jaz sem končno začel uživati v samskem stanu... čist hudo. v soboto se mi sploh ni dalo pecat.

Cherry said...

hehehe :)

Naslednjič lahko greva skupaj ne pecat :D

rhet said...

I remember being in my thirties - that tedious decade of serious abject hell where women wave their shrivelling ovaries about and men just get fatter and more dull. I'm lucky, in the sense that I got married when I was very young, but if I had not been married then I would never have been married. Although I sound exactly like my mother: "If you don't get marriage over with by the time you are twenty five - you are f***ed".

The reason is this: At twenty six women start to feel like they are "in a place" to settle down. They feel sprightly enough to face that entire day of hideous gruelling pain that is childbirth, and convince themselves that the dolty boy they are dating is interesting enough to watch, watch sports for the rest of their days. So the girl gets excited and tells her friends she is ready to settle down, that they should start planning the bridal shower occasion, buying pieces of genital shaped chocolate and that they need to think about what they will wear on the big day.

The trouble is that men at that age have generally managed to earn just about enough money to buy a stupid large television, or some overpriced shoes. They have a gaggle of idiot friends called "Pookie" and "Ryebread" with whom they can go skiing and fight over who gets to f*** the chalet girl. In short these men start to have a fairly high opinion of what type of a catch they really are. The spots of adolescence may have faded to silvery pock marks and a few extra bucks here and there will help mask the aura of f***ing tedious banality that may have lingered on in their early twenties. Money will always attract the chicks and the c*** might just start to swagger about a bit and fancy himself rotten, or declare himself to have "an edge" which amazingly enough does seem to pull in some women. Idiot ones, but still, cat is cat.

The girlfriend, on the other hand, will start leaving magazines around open on the diamond pages and trying to drag the guy off for country weekends spent picking flowers and walking in the dark, hoping for the big moment. If she is bloody minded enough she will keep this behaviour up as far as the age of about thirty two. At which point she will give up on the idea of marriage, settle for whatever else she is doing in life as the meaning for her existence and start thinking about adopting Chinese babies or living a slightly itinerant lifestyle. Perhaps even opening a shop in the country or "writing a book" or whatever, but it sure won't involve the silly boy of her late twenties.

At this point the male immediately sets out to couple up and breed. If the woman hasn't been strong minded enough to give her idiot the boot, he will start pestering the girlfriend to start IVF or get married and move miles away from all of her friends and work, and just moon around after him. By this point in the chick's career she might be doing rather well for herself and be enjoying success that she herself has earned. Rather than waiting around for happiness that depends on some balding, conceited c***, she will either tell him to shove it and move abroad and start dating much younger men, or she will settle for his idiot plan and spend the rest of her life waiting for him to die. Whilst waiting she will make her children's lives an utter misery because she has devoted her life to meeting the needs of her moron partner, neglected her own dreams and basically resigned herself to the life of an emotional zombie. This won't entirely pass the male by, who, after congratulating himself for having been big enough to marry the whore, will then be confused as to why she isn't beside herself with gratitude. This confusion will turn to anger, which will spur him on to go out and find someone who f***ing well does appreciate him. Once he has cleared off, the wife will be stuck in the arse of the country with kids she didn't actually want. The man will feel slighted that, by doing the right thing, he actually did the wrong thing. Still out of bloody mindedness and a desperation to prove that he was right after all, he will then proceed to ruin the life of his second wife. He will hurry her into the breeding-moving-to-the-country-where-he-watches-her-for-signs-of-happiness cycle. Again, being disappointed when she seems unhappy, f***ing off and repeating the proccess until his money runs out, or alternatively he will give up on women entirely, and actually discover that he is quite happy without them.

I am forever listening to people going on: "The only point of being alive is to form relationships with other people" I don't agree one bit. People are a f***ing bore and quite why they think it is okay to team up and breed more people out of boredom or misery is beyond me. I can only imagine it is out of unspeakable arrogance.