Thursday, February 7, 2008

How to use public transport and survive

One thing that it's safe to say about Slovenian public transport is that it's nothing like German or Dutch. You can't rely on it, it's rarely on time and if you miss it you could be waiting for hours before another bus/trains arrives. So I guess there's no need to explain why people avoid using it, despite the ecological issues.

So it's pretty much love and hate relationship where love mostly refers to situations between 3 and 5 a.m. - a time when city bus is a true superhero of intoxicated party nation.

Don't let the simplicity of use fool you, public transport can harm your health - mental health that is. So you shouldn't use it unless you're fully equipped. For shorter rides you'll do fine only with:
  • An mp3 player, dwarf hamster, Babel fish or any other device that will protect your from overhearing teenage morning gossip wisdoms, random phone conversation of people with no feeling for loudness and music of people with no taste.
  • The look - you'll need to get one ASAP as it will protect you from having to talk to random people. You'll learn to appreciate The look especially in the mornings, when you're still high on melatonin. To get the look just imagine you're being picked up by a fat hairy man with a beer breath, whos only association connected to shower is golden. Hold it right there! Yes, that's exactly the look.
However for longer rides, you'll also need:
  • A bag which you will use as a shield. As you will notice different people have different understanding of familiar strangers. E.g. some will want to get more familiar with you by invading you with their groceries. Other will want you to get familiar with their unique body odor.
  • A book - good thing to keep you occupied in that priceless: "Do not disturb, I'm reading" mood. Do not mistaken it with a newspaper or a magazine - people consider those as a an invitation to stare across your shoulder.
  • Balance - you'll need it to keep your feet on the ground in the curves. I've got absolutely no tips on how to get it but I've got quite a few on how to loose it.
  • A theme song - it'll shorten and enlighten your public transport user experience so it better not be a ballad. If you can't think of any good theme song use a tested one - it's the best I've heard so far.
So here's to many exciting public transport experiences and do share your horror stories with your fellow bloggers. We know how to appreciate it.

7 comments:

Truefaith1963 said...

Excellent advice Cherry.
When I used to use Pubic Transport in England I always ended up sitting next to "The Train Loony"

petra said...

Jst imam izkušnje predvsem s Slovenskimi železnicami...in imam samo dve besedi: "Da popizdiš!!"
Toliko kolikor se letos vozim z vlakom se res še nisem do zdaj...

Mislim, da se iz enega konca države na drugega vozi 5 ur je res tooo much. Mater, kot da imamo tako veliko državo.

Sicer pa ne vem zakaj, ampak ni da ni, da nebi naletela na kakšnega, ki bi mi med vožnjo želel povedati celo svojo življensko zgodbo... :S Ali se pa najde kakšen, ki je res firbčen...ne maram o sebi govort tujcem.

Tako, da jaz prisegam na kako fajno knjigo:)..v zadnjem času pa predvsem mp3.
Vmes pa tud mogoče mal zapojem, al pa sam usta odpiram... no pa mogoče tud mal tak sede zaplešem :))

petra said...

fakn šit..sem se razpisala...ahahah

kejt said...

hehe, odličen post, cherry. :)

nikoli mi ni bilo jasno, kaj zaboga se imajo za pogovarjat po mobiju ljudje že pred sedmo zjutraj?!?! ja, kar sem slišala, nič kaj pametnega.

nekaj časa sem uporabljala mestni transport za pot do mesta, in so me kmalu fajn bolela ušesa, ko je bila vsaka druga beseda: piČka blabla piČka blabla piZZda ona piČka. pa sem med tistimi, ki kar kolnemo, ampak tistole je bil baročni abundance na sedmo potenco, bljak.

zdaj hvalabogu lahko pešakam v službo (20+ minut), s kolesom pa je sploh pesmica s kitico in pol.

imam se za veliko fenico javnega transporta, toda nad slovenskim sem obupala. še peš je boljše. a ni to jadno in gadno?

Cherry said...

@justin - what? You mean you have only one looney per train? You should consider yourself lucky ;)

@petra - at least they keep their clothes on ;) Za talkerje je vedno fajn imet pripravljeno kako zgodbico, da si se zaobljubila molku za naslednjih 5 let

@kejt - what happened to brain and bubizz? Sicer pa I agree - bus je zadnja opcija, ko bajk ne dela in ful dežuje.

petra said...

"at least they keep their clothes on"...amm..ne omenjat tega prehitro, mislm da bom letos še rabila naše Slovenske železnice ;)

aljazek said...

Zmer ko se spravim na trolo gužvat, imam v glavi Eye Of The Tiger pesem, pa si predstavljam kk grem kot Rocky v boj :D MP3 pa knjiga res rešujeta življenje...čeprav zdaj imam še včasih laptopa seboj, pa kak film med vožnjo pogledam :D

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