MacGyver or Chuck Norris

I don't know much about action men but I do know MacGyver could probably make a bomb out of bird shit and some lunch left over. Chuck Norris on the other hand gives you the creeps without even moving a muscle. So if they were in the battle - who would win? It's almost like Superman vs. Batman - sure, my bets are with Superman but then again Batman really knows his style.

It's simply too much for me, so I'll let you decide - who is cooler, stronger and more powerful: DIY man MacGyver or scary stiff Chuck Norris? Here are some facts about them which are taken and copied from here, here and here, to help you decide.


Angus MacGyver (what a subtle name indeed) - the Brain

1. MacGyver was actually the creator of modern day baseball. He, by himself, was the only team to go undefeated for an entire season. Twice.

2. MacGyver used to be a professor, but was frustrated by the stupidity of young Chuck Norris, and thus had to quit...The one thing MacGyver never figured out.

3. MacGyver actually entered the first pilot show of Survivor, but was promptly banned for building a condo complete with remote controlled garage in the first hour.

4. Chuck Norris never could grow hair on his face or anywhere else, so he confronted MacGyver. MacGyver then created a contraption that allowed Chuck Norris to finally look like a man! This was considered the first sex change.

5. Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Give him a fishing pole, you'll feed him for life...Give MacGyver a spool of thread, a half bottle of bleach and a pizza crust and he'll create a life form similar to fish but capable of intelligent speech and advanced calculus.

6. The only reason the MacGyver show was ever canceled was because in the summer of 1991 MacGyver caused a worldwide shortage of duct tape.

7. MacGyver once fought with Chuck Norris, MacGyver won with Q-Tips, a cough drop, and an empty Powerade bottle.

MacGyver photo source

Chuck Norris - the Pain

1. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.

2. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

3. If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

4. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

5. Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.

6. Chuck Norris doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."

7. Chuck Norris was originally offered the role as Frodo in Lord of the Rings. He declined because, "Only a pussy would need three movies to destroy a piece of jewelery."

Chuck Norris photo source

So, who's the Man?